Lit Up Like a Paper Doll

Been going over all of the crazy internment camp info that’s been coming out.  It’s frightening.  Between the “civil war” talk regarding the collapse of the dollar to FEMA concentration camps for martial law post-disaster… it’s hard to ignore.  After the passing of the indefinite detainment bill it’s looking more and more likely that they are prepping for something massive.  Something unavoidable.  Something horrifying.  It’s enough to make someone start hoarding canned goods and guns.

I managed to pawn a few things to get enough gas money to last a while.  However, on my way to security training in Bloomington/Normal, my tire shredded on the highway.  Thankfully, I have AAA and it didn’t cost anything.  Otherwise I would have been FUCKED. The best part of the whole experience was when the fucker snapped a chunk off the bottom of the trunk and sent a dirt devil through the backseat.  That was awesome.  I’m still trying to get the dust and debris out of my hair.  I can still taste it.  Some Aurora cop who was lost managed to pull over in time right after me.  He was a riot!  He kept going on about how he didn’t want to get back up to Chicago until it was closer to his shift ending, that he’d just keep driving around and put more miles on his car so that they have to give the department new ones.  Wow. 

Completed training today, though, and I go on duty on Monday.  Good times. The only bad part of training today was that my trainer made me listen to Hannity all fucking day.  Then she started in on “bleeding liberals” (not bleeding heart liberals)… all I could think of was “why are they bleeding?”.  I could understand her saying “bloody liberals” but bleeding?  Really, dude?  There really isn’t a place in between severe right and severe left.  Anyone left in the middle is left to their own devices to sort through the bullshit coming from both ends.  Sometimes it’s hard to find real answers.

Uncle’s memorial is tomorrow.  Apparently he was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer only a month ago and was told he would have 6-12 months to live.  1 month.  That’s all he got.  I hope it was enough time for him to find some peace and sort out his affairs.  I’m not looking forward to seeing a ton of family tomorrow but that’s just par for the course.  Death brings people together.  Then drives us apart again as we all pursue our own personal demise.

I haven’t worked on Firewater (it’s not going to be called that, but that’s just what I’m going to call it here until I’m solid on the real name) in the past few days.  I plan to this evening.  I need to get at least another 30 pages of formatting knocked out so I can prep for illustration.  The storyboards have not been easy…  I get through one and then start another then go back and break up half the panels because I think they’re too big and blah blah blah. The really fucked up part was that I was planning on asking my cousin (who has worked for DC and Marvel) to work on some character illustrations with me once I was done with the first 32 pages… then his dad died.  Maybe I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow and see how he feels about it.

I’ve been talking too much lately.

Coffee and cigarette time.  Let’s get this dirty old whore dusted up.

There are parts of me that wish I were not so imaginative.  I have stories upon stories building atop one another that it is difficult to keep them separated from each other…let alone from reality at times.

It’s difficult to not get carried away.

I thought that taking a break from the writing for a few days would be beneficial.  All it did was pause the movie while 3 others were being played.  I have to get back to re-writing Firewater before one of these others suddenly seems more important.  The crucial formatting stage is on the cusp and I can’t lose steam now.  

My uncle died yesterday.  Lung cancer.  I had no idea he that he was sick.  

In other news, I’m out of cigarettes.  I have 1/4 tank of gas.  $0.  Day 2 of Security training is tomorrow afternoon.  It looks like I am going to have to swing by the pawn shop again tomorrow.  I’m charging up my remaining electronic devices that are not too outdated and hopefully I can get enough gas & cigarette money to last me a few weeks until I get paid by my new job.  Livin’ on the edge.  It’s not for the faint of heart.  I’m going to go pretend like I can sleep now.